pictures February 3, 2010

a picture can capture a moment in time

this is one of the main reason why i wanted a DSLR and love taking pictures. looking at a picture can bring back so much memory. sometimes, you didn’t even remember a certain event or time until that little piece of paper/file reminds you. i’m sure you had a goofy grin when you saw that picture of you playing around  when you were 5.  or probably felt mortified when your parents showed your friends that naked picture of you in the bathtub as a baby. honestly, the value of a picture is more than what we give it credit for. i learned this from my Grandpa. a few years back, he sent me 2 boxes of something through the mail. he told me it was something of great value to him. when i opened it, the boxes were full of photo albums of him growing up and travelling around the world. he would write about the pictures too! Grandpa practically documented his life journey and gave it all to me. no material gift can ever compare to that, a loved one sharing his entire lifetime of memory with you :’)

so, note to self. take pictures wisely and love each and every one of them. one day, i want to give my life story to my family via the colorful world of photography

cause i’m leaving on a jet plane… January 31, 2010

and it’s true. i’m leaving on that jet plane soon. honestly, i don’t know how i feel.

but i think, no i’m sure, i feel sad. my time here is slowly slipping away. every conversation, every meal, every face i see, i’m cherishing it now more than ever.

honestly, i’m not a big big girl in this big big world, it really is a big big thing if i leave home :’(

romeo take me somewhere January 26, 2010

fact: i’m a classic at heart.

fiction: i’m a Lady or princess in a faraway land.

fact: movies or books back in time, make me happy.

fiction: i’m gonna be a witch and go to Hogwarts.

fact: i won’t be punished for dreaming about my fantasies

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They call me Lancelot, i breakdance a lot… January 20, 2010

because truly this video can brighten up my day, anytime and anywhere!

my fav part is the ‘Arthur’ part! i’m the round table manager-ROFL! Arthur Pendragon, marry me please!

schizophrenia January 18, 2010

I was watching Oprah one night and was totally moved by that specific episode. it was about this young girl who suffered from Schizophrenia. i think many would know that schizophrenia is a form of mental illness, often the most severe type of mental illness. according to wiki (seriously, wikipedia is internet magic!);

Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a neuropsychiatric and mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction. Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood,^[1] with around 0.4–0.6%^[2][3] of the population affected. Diagnosis is based on the patient’s self-reported experiences and observed behavior. No laboratory test for schizophrenia currently exists. (from Wikipedia)

basically, there is this girl named Jani. her parents knew she was different because when she was a baby, she would sleep for 20 mins during each nap and in one day, she’d sleep for 4 hours only. normal babies sleep like 16 hours or more. in addition, she would often stare at one place for a very long time as though she is seeing something there and focusing on it.  as she got older, Jani show’d other signs such as talking to ‘imaginary friends’. but at first her parents didn’t think much of this. i mean most kids have imaginary friends, even i did! mum said i would play cook while talking to my ‘guests’. however, usually children grow out of this phase. Jani did not though. her imaginary friends reached the hundreds! she would have animal friends such as 400 the rat or cats, etc.

for the parents, there was one incident stood out and made them think this is not normal. the family was swimming in a pool. Jani was happily swimming with her ‘friends’ at the shallow end of the pool. suddenly, she starts shouting to one of her friends, “don’t go to that side!! it’s too deep for you! NOOOOOOOO!!” while swimming to the deeper end of the pool. take a step back and analyse this incident. normal kids can control their imaginary friends. i remember playing and talking to my ‘friends’, i would always control the outcome. what they said in my head was exactly what i wanted to be said. everything came from my creativity. however, for this incident, we can see that Jani is reacting out of her control. her ‘friends’ are acting on their own, telling her things in her mind.

Jani also began to get more violent. she would be kicking, screaming and often, hyper. there was even a time where her ‘friends’ asked her to strangle herself. her mom said that Jani had her hands around her neck and was trying to strangle herself. Jani shouted “how do i break my neck!??!!?!”. her ‘friends’ were telling her to do things. sadly, violent things most of the time.

after bringing Jani to the hospital, she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the tender age of 6 God bless her and her family. because of her disease, her parents need to live in separate apartments. one is Jani’s apartment and the other Brody’s apartment (her lil brother). each parent would switch between kids each day. i have the highest admiration and respect for Jani’s parents. truly, they are bestowed with a mountain of challenge.

Jani’s current medication is equivalent to a full grown adult. when she was 6, she spent a total of 170 days in the psychiatric ward in a hospital. for this disease, medication and therapy is needed for the whole life.

honestly, i don’t know why i wrote about Jani’s story. i’m not a doctor or even in the medical field so i can’t comment much about her recovery process or diagnosis. i’m just a normal girl who is deeply moved by her story. i hope that one day, the medical field can grow and we can find cures for all of the mental illness in the world. truly, in this era, the number of mental illness cases are on the rise. people are so stressed up and this does take a tole on out mind.

soooooo, let’s find peace in our heart, body, mind and soul.

Merlin January 14, 2010

i am beyond normality, undoubtedly, undeniably head over heels obsessed, in love with The Adventures of Merlin!!! it is so awesome! too bad i only realised this halfway through it’s second season on Hallmark. thus, can anybody please tell me where i can get the dvd for Season 1 of Merlin in Malaysia, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease???? *makes a cute puppy face with the adorable cat’s eyes like in Shrek*

interviews galore January 13, 2010

the interview season for all post-SPM students are gonna start soon. i remember after SPM, i had my very first interview. it was for PKTR hehe. then scholarship interviews began. JPA, Sime Darby and Felda. But here’s the thing i realised today, interviews are easy but their not that easy.

sure at times in an interview you try to sell yourself and well, you kind of should. it is however important to note that everyone else is just as outstanding as you are. if you come to an interview saying that you have an excellent academic record, well then fine. BUT the person before you said the same thing too. these days, everything is competitive. everyone is a prefect, everyone is a President of some club, everyone is active in school and everyone is getting good results. i admit, i wasn’t the top achiever in my school. i even got a B in SPM for EST and i was never a prefect, hehe. these ‘imperfections’ made me doubt myself whenever i went to interviews because i know the other people there were perfect but i was active in other things and that made me different.

the point of the matter is, these days u need to be uniquely excellent! i remember a friend of mine gave me this quote “to excel u need to be excellent or different, i’m not excellent, but i am different”. try to be urself and sell that to the interviewer, after all each person is different.furthermore,  your wonderful academic results are reflected in ur resume and thick file of certificates. you don’t need to repeat each and every thing in that file unless they ask u to. most likelythey’ve seen it before, that’s why you’re here having this interview. so now that ur here, show/tell us things which are not in the file or things that are worth saying. with formal language show ur personality. smiling helps a lot and eye contact shows that u are confident within.

i’m sure some might be asking, ‘how can i be different? how can i be unique?’. honestly, u need to find out about that urself. why are u different from ur brother? or a girl in ur class? or the top SPM scorer? or the English dude who’s 17 as well? maybe its because u play an instrument, u love to write poetry, u have a talent for photography, u love to help the elderly, u enjoy being around animals and have helped cleaned the zoo, ur active in journalism, u made a short film this holiday, ur a cheerleader for ur local sports club or aaaaaaanything lah! these are the things that make u different. on a plus note, they make u a better person too. it builds character for the short and long term

furthermore, communication is essential in interviews whether it is in malay or english. most students in our country can write excellently, but can they speak? try speaking with ur friends properly once in awhile, it can do much good in the long run and boost ur confidence also, do keep up with the news. a good way to impress anybody for that matter is through knowledge. nah, i’m not talking about ur ‘A exam’ knowledge, but ur general knowledge. don’t be surprised if certain questions suddenly lead up to general issues. heck, even ur own answer can spill out onto a current issue. in fact, improve ur general/current knowledge always. it’s good to know about the things that are happening around the globe.

lastly, have faith in urself and pray for the best. once you’ve done your best, there’s nothing much left to do. good luck people!

them juniors grow up so fast January 11, 2010

i can still distantly remember how my unlikely friendship with this little junior from school began. back then, it was all about friendster. haha, it was the IN thing. you were so left behind if you didn’t have it, well according to teens la. i think he added me and we started commenting. i recognised him as the kiddo one year below me. and the rest they say is history.

ibal and his kak dee

it still is a wonder why we’re still friends. good thing, his bestie is my bestie’s kid sister making hanging out easier. dear bal bal ibal bal, it’s been awesome seeing u grow up. dari budak form 1 who had saliva drooling down his mouth (haha just kidding) to the taller-than-me boy/man you are now. belajar baik-baik ya ibal and don’t go breaking pretty girls hearts. oh, don’t forget to email your pathetic akak dee when she flies away ey have fun in life always, for you never know when it might end. do stay young at heart, like you always are and don’t you ever ever ever change ya dude. jaga diri baik-baik ye ibal.

p/s: i’ll be doing many posts like these as a tribute to all my good friends. i’m telling you, going to uni in far far away land is making me sentimental lah! so maaf kan me

1 malaysia? January 9, 2010

i admit, i’m a person who easily succumbs to denial. i don’t look like it, but i do. it’s much much easier to deny and push things to the back of your mind than face reality. but, i’m trying not to.

one thing i constantly avoid is Malaysian news. it’s not that bad. i do read the papers and teman my mum to watch the news. in fact, i visited the star online and read newspapers everyday when there was the H1N1 outbreak. i’m a tad bit of paranoid freak, that’s why. but honestly, i always avoid controversial stuff. i hear about things, catch a glimpse of headlines in statuses or in the paper and what happens is, the moment i know a bit, my heart tightens and i go into a deep thinking. i start imagining things.  fear, sadness and dissapointment build up in me. therefore, i avoid the news. it’s a lame excuse i know. i know as a citizen i should, must, have to know.

i’m reaching adulthood soon. i need to grow and face this beautiful/brutal world. so i’ll start by knowing more.

frankly, i’m appalled by these arson attacks on Churches around Selangor. i still have no idea who are behind these attacks. for all we know, it could be people taking advantage of the situation to worsen the peace within Malaysia. it’s not impossible, things like these have happened. i simply hate the manipulation of issues because of politics. it’s dirty politics to me. religion and ethnicity are sensitive issues in our country. can people please use their brains and look at our country. we’re hanging by a thread to keep united. it would do loads of good to start walking on eggshells (carefully). don’t be blinded by emotions and react without thinking, instead do things the right way, the legal way. do it in a way that is dignified and respected. sometimes, doing things the right way with respect to others can help make the situation better. after all, diplomacy can run smoothly with respect.

from what i read, people say these incidents are because of the use of Allah’s name by non-muslim. my reaction to this can be summed by what our Agong said;

“To ensure peace and harmony among the followers of different religions, the meaning and reference to “Allah” in the general context should conform to the description fixed by Islam because this practice has all this while been accepted by Malaysians of other faiths,” said Tuanku Mizan. — Bernama.

all religions insist that places of worships are sacred be it a mosque, temple, church etc. people who can’t understand this simple concept really do need help and guidance. it’s simple common respect. hmm, all i know is, i hope this ends and the culprits get caught. may legal action be taken upon them.

ya Allah, please help my beloved country survive the threats from within.

help us be united and strong.

may people see the beauty within others.